She didn’t know how to deal with the way she was feeling!
Most of us will never experience the thrill of winning an Olympic medal, but we all can imagine we’d be on-top-of-the-world with excitement if we did win!
So why then did Amanda Beard reveal to the world in her newly released book, “In the Water They Can’t See you Cry”, that she pushed her feelings of inadequacy, sadness & shame deep down inside and didn’t talk about these feeling to anyone?
She describes how she dealt with her pain through cutting as a way to soothe herself. That seems odd that someone would seemingly deliberately hurt them selves in order to feel relieved of stress, because logically to hurt yourself would cause pain & stress. But, this story clearly shows the complex nature or our emotional system.
As Dr. Phil interviewed Amanda last week he confirmed that Amanda was “looking for something to let her emotions out and cutting is a way to DEAL”, although not a very healthy way to do it!
If you look in Webster’s Dictionary for the definition of a feeling, here is what you would read. A feeling is “a general state of consciousness, independent of particular sensations or thoughts; a vague awareness”.
Well I don’t know about you, but this definition doesn’t really tell me anything except that it’s pretty hard to explain feelings.
Amanda Beard says she learned through help that “the feelings I was having were valid and all I needed to do was just be able to open up and learn how to deal”! In Amanda’s courageous story she says she learned “new healthy coping mechanisms” to deal with her feelings instead of drugs or throwing up.
Amanda Beard’s message in writing this book is that, “What you are feeling matters and that it’s ok and that there are others out there dealing with the same problems”.
The reality is it’s not just some others out there that need help sorting out feelings and dealing with them it is in fact EVERYONE!
This story gives all parents a teachable moment. First help your children identify their feelings and then teach them healthy ways to deal by sharing what has worked for you. And second, get them help and support from your friends, family or the professional community.